Weekend roadtrips in Canada

So, in a fit of filial devotion and wish to bond with the parental units, I proposed a weekend getaway to that paragon of natural beauty (and natural scary bears), Algonquin Park. (This may also have been twigged by guilt in recent years that all my trips, every single one, have been without the parents. Except for when I went back to the Homeland to visit the parents, in which case it was really just a selfish use of their tiny, borrowed apartment space so that I could spend horrendous amounts of money on clothes which I don't wear. But I digress.)

Here is a comparison of the planning of recent road trips - one with friends, one with parents:

Friends Road Trip to Ottawa

Woe - Let's go to Ottawa!!
Friends - OK - when?
[Fight over which day and time to leave]
[Fight over how to get there]
[Fight over where we're staying, for how long, and when we're leaving]

Finally, we're ready to go.

Leave about 1/2 hour later than we planned. [Hey, only 1/2 hour late...that's pretty good.] Add about 1/2 hour for unexpected side trip to drop off friend's keys for little bro to use empty pad over weekend. Add about 1/2 hour for traffic due to unexpected drop off.

W - So - do you know how to get to Ottawa?
F - Not really. Do you have the directions?
W - Sort of. Don't we just drive eastbound on the 401?

Drive drive drive...

[Somewhere around Belleville]

W - So....it's like 12:30. Are you ok to keep going? Cuz I say we stop in Kingston before we eat. Then it's more than halfway to Ottawa.
F - Sounds good.
W - Except - I'm hungry now.
F - Me too. What do you have to eat?
W - Well - there's the oatmeal bars I brought.
F - Great. [Takes a bite] Mmmm....these are amazing!
W - Really? I've never had them before.
F - Mmmmm....they taste awesome!!
W - Really? Gimme some!
[Fight over oatmeal bars]
W & F - Mmmmmmmm.....

[Somewhere nearing Kingston - both starving]

F - I remember there's an exit near Kingston that has a ton of restaurants.
W - I don't want restaurants - we're just doing fast food, remember?
F - Yeah, but it's all the Wendys and Tim Hortons and stuff. There's a whole pack of them together.
W - OK, but we don't want to drive into the city.
F - No no no, it's just off the highway. Last time we drove out to Montreal, we stopped there to eat. I totally remember.
W - OK, sounds good. Let's go there.
F - Right.

[Scanning exit signs for Kingston]

W - Dude...there are 8 exits for Kingston. I don't see a sign for the service station you're talking about.
F - It's not a service station. It's an actual exit, but you don't have to go into the city.
W - OK - well, do you remember which one it was?
F - No. That was like, 5 years ago.

[Silence]

F - I'm pretty sure it's not this one. Or this one either.
W - Well, this is the last exit for Kingston. I think we should take this, otherwise we won't get off until Brockville, and that's an hour away.
F - Well...I don't remember this being it. But yeah, let's take it.

[15 minutes of aimless driving later]

F - Yeah, that wasn't it. I'm pretty sure it was further east.
W - But further east is nothing! There was no sign for another exit, I think it's just Brockville.
F - OK, maybe you're right. I still think it's east though.
W - Well, let's just go back west. It must have been the exit before this.
F - OK.

[20 minutes of back-tracking later, the idiots resume their eastbound journey]

F - I really think we should just keep going east. I'm pretty sure it's the next exit.
W - Fine, whatever. At worst we'll just double-back again and take one of the other exits and go to Queen's or something.
F - Fine.

[5 minutes later]

F - Yeah, this is it!! See, it's like an oasis of fast food restaurants.
W - Wow....it really is. Remember this exit - it's exit 572.
F - Yeah, I'll never forget that exit again!!!

[Note - on the way back, we tried to find the same exit. And Friend had forgotten what it was. But I hadn't.]
[Note note - Do not use the above exit # as a reference. I totally forget what # it was.]

VERSUS

Trip with Parents to Algonquin [and we haven't even left yet!!]

W - So - why don't we go on a weekend trip together?
[pause in shock]
P - really - where?
W - Well, I was thinking it would be nice to go to Algonquin for the long weekend.
P - It will be cold.
W - Yes, but didn't you and Auntie take a trip there 4 years ago in the fall? And we can just stay in one of those nice warm little huts.
P - Yeah, that was an adventure. Every hour your dad had to get up and put more logs on the fire.
W - The FIRE?
P - Yes - that's what kept the lodge warm!!!!
W - Uh - ok, on second thought, let's book a hotel.

[At this point I carry on with my daily life, and my parents magically plan the entire trip, while I supervise. My involvement is limited to the few days before we actually have to leave, when the debates begin.]

ORGANIZATIONAL DEBATE # 1 - WHICH WEEKEND
This is much more complicated than merely which weekend we go. "Which" weekend assumes we are not going on the long weekend. Why? Because given that we are not going to be doing very many hikes (mom doesn't hike), then what could we possibly have to do for 3 whole days? Then the 2-day vs. 3-day debate launches hotel booking issues - apparently, even when people go up for a non-long-weekend, they still stay over 2 nights. How do they do it? Don't they have to work?!

So the originally scheduled Oct 9 trip, changed to Oct 2, forcing me to change my dentist appointment 2 times, and TODAY, has changed AGAIN to Sept 25. Why? Because according to the colour change report on the internet, which my parents have followed daily, the colour change % is now about 50-75%, depending on which internet site you consult, and which side of the park you're looking at. So we don't want to miss our chance to see the great fall colours. (Plus, tennis got moved to next weekend. But I'm not bitter. :P ) So now my dentist appointment is on Oct 16 for NOTHING. My teeth could rot in those 2 weeks.

ORGANIZATIONAL DEBATE # 2 - ROUTING

Remember how Friend & I went to Ottawa? We got in the car and drove away, and ate when we were hungry. Here's how it is with my dad:

D - W - come here and help me plan the trip.
W - [feeling guilty for doing nothing while they have been consulting colour change reports every day] OK.....
D - I need you to look at this road map of Ontario, and tell me the distance between Toronto and Fenelon Falls, so I can determine how long it will take to drive there.
W - WHAT? How do I do that? [beginning to think about my grade 9 compass and other mathematical instruments which supposedly did this sort of thing]...

[Ed's note - I should clarify at this point that our road trip obviously makes pit stops, and we've - I mean they've - been trying to plan out the most scenic ones.]

So now I look at what my dad's doing on the computer, and he's got this huge excel spreadsheet, with each exact stop location, anticipated activity, expected travel time between points, and expected layover time for sightseeing, plotted in this chart. Down to the MINUTE. I mean, we're stopping at Whatever River at 12:38 to partake of lunch for 60 minutes. 12:38. [Dad says, "the computer calculates it, not me".] Did I mention my dad is a mathie?

I'm in shock - and in a last ditch effort to save myself from bringing out the geographical measurement instruments, I thankfully remember the Internet Triptik option from CAA. Thank God I became a member!! Those CAA fees have repaid themselves in full!!!

W - Wait Dad, there's a better way!!!

[Speedy calculations on internet triptik later]...

W - Ta-da...the whole trip takes about 5.5 hours!!!
D - How long is it between point B and point C?
W - Uh....it doesn't say. It only does aggregate trip time.

[Recalculate entire trip with 7 stopping points to determine exact travel time between each point. Because you know, you have to figure out where and when you're gonna eat.]

So now my dad has planned out the entire weekend, from practically which restaurant we're going to eat at in which city, to which trail we're going to hike at what time on which day.

Now I understand why my parents used to say that planning a self-trip (as opposed to a cruise or group bus tour of Europe) was such a huge effort and that I didn't appreciate their hard work. But I can't complain - cause my parents ARE my guided bus tour organizers. :)

Yay....love road trips....when I come back, much blogging will continue about fights over speed limits...speed traps...and anything else minute that is not worth fighting over....

My friends rock :)

Had a great night last night. Went to Schmooze to start out with, thanks to J's slick line-bypassing abilities...then had a yummy dinner at Canyon Creek with my best pals. Love the prime rib! Of course I was pretty buzzed at that point so I was lovin' everything and everyone (with one notable exception - think I did a good job avoiding/freezing there). Warning - wine at Canyon Creek not worth it!

Thanks to my friends for all your support this past year. It's been a tough year but very good for me from a character-building standpoint, and this job change has been a real risk. Your confidence in my chances of success and unfailing belief in me have really meant a lot. "Without you, there would be no way!" Every so often I am reminded of how much people care about me and am inspired to be more unselfish and more caring of others. So thanks....a lot!

Wimbledon was very cute...not the greatest movie, but satisifes my tennis withdrawal temporarily. Dieter was really cute!! Ended the night planning out our social lives for the next 3 months what with birthdays and christmas coming up. I can't believe I'm already talking about it!!!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!

Debatables

Here's 2 topics for today's debate:

1) Respect thy elders

So last night had another "discussion" with the maternal one. Came in the door after gym, said hi to dad - "Hi" - then purposely, even though it was completely out of my way, went to my mom's room to say "Hi" to her too. I turn away to go to my room - my only sanctuary in this tiny space we call home - and I get smacked upside the head with it (figuratively):

M - Daughter - come here.
Woe - Huh?
M - Come in here. I want to talk to you.
W - [crap]...Yes?
M - I tried not to say anything but it's just too much - it's been building up inside me and I can't keep it quiet any longer [ed's note - much more succint in chinese - "jeung jue hai do"]. You only ever say "Hi" to me, or "Good morning". You should be saying "Hi Mah-mee", "Jo sun Mah-mee".
W - [blank silence]...Okay....
M - It's a sign of respect. In Chinese custom you have to respect your mother by addressing her as mother. Just saying "Hi" to me is like saying "Hi" to any stranger on the street. If you don't say "Hi Mah-mee" I may as well be one of your friends or your neighbour. I am your mother and I deserve more respect than that.
W - [baffled silence]...Okay...
M - It's the Chinese way. You call your friends' parents Uncle and Auntie, you say Hi Uncle Bob and Hi Auntie Jane. Why can't you call me Mahmee?
W - [silence...wondering how long I have to let her ramble before it's safe to speak]
M - And in the mornings, you say "Good morning ba-ba." But you never say good morning mah-mee.
W - [forced to respond] Okay, when I say that it's because I already said jo sun to you, and now I have to say jo sun ba-ba to distinguish that I am speaking to him and not you....
M - If you had brothers and sisters, it's the same thing. Chinese families have a hierarchy and you have to respect the hierarchy by calling your older brother Go and your older sister Ga-je. You don't have brothers or sisters. But if you did, that's what you would have to do. You have cousins. You see how your cousin M calls her brother Go? You already don't call your cousins by their hierarchical titles. That's not great, but at least they're not your siblings. But your parents - you should be calling them by their titles.

OK. This goes on for about 15 minutes in total. I can't transcribe it all. Why subject you to the same guilt-trip I had to endure? Let's just say, a good friend of mine recently made the point that in arguments, everyone has a perspective, and things that one person finds trivial may be extremely important to the other. And even if in the grand scheme of things, the issue is in actuality trivial, it's still valid because it's important to the person. So we should all try to see things from each other's perspectives and understand why it's important to them - or, failing that, try and help them see why it's not really that important - or, failing that, I guess just be patient and understanding on our side because we realize it's not important.

Applicability to this situation? FOR SURE.
A) I cannot win the guilt-trip-respect-thy-elders-chinese-culture-demands-respect-even-in-the-stupidest-points argument. NO MATTER WHAT.
B) Part of the chinese elder respect thing, is that mah-mee is always right. NO MATTER WHAT. Children do not have valid arguments.
C) At the end of the day, my mother wants me to say "mah-mee" after everything. "Hello, Mah-Mee." "Jo-sun, Mah-Mee". "Mah-Mee, sic fan." This to me is mere formality and stupid, not showing anything beyond token respect.
D) This is what my mother requires of me to make her happy (and to stop harassing me), and while I find it retarded, does not require much effort on my behalf and is less troublesome to me than it is to her.
E) I am prepared to do this to keep the peace. No argument from me.

So given that I am prepared to give in without argument, why does it still take her 15 minutes to try and convince me that I've been bad and disrespectful? Venting? Naive belief that she will actually make me feel like I really have been disrespectful?

Result - this morning:
W - "Jo-sun - [pause] Mah-Mee."
M - "Jo-sun - [pause] Daughter [insert chinese name here]."
W - "Jo-sun - [pause] Ba-Ba."
D - "Jo-sun - [pause] Daughter."

Great. Now we've turned into a bunch of retards. Very formal retards.

I almost screwed it up this evening when I got home from work. But it's not my fault! I got thrown off by my mother's greeting. I walked in the door:

M - Hi.
D - Hi.
W - Hi.
[frantic scramble to recover]
W - I mean - Hi, Mah-mee.

Whew! That was a close one.

You know, if she wasn't my mother...she would make me laugh.


2) Fat people on the subway

Alright, this is a very politically incorrect topic. But honestly - anyone who has been in the middle seat on the 3-seater row in the subway, knows what I'm talking about. Today I sat on the END seat coming home on a crowded subway. I figure, the end seat is pretty safe. I have all this space on my right side, only 1 seat on my left. Life is good.

Then - SMACK - fat lady sits in the middle seat to my left. She is so fat her thigh is squished right up against me. I'm talking, like 250 lbs fat - or something like it. I was sitting there innocently, totally comfortable, and now I'm claustrophic. So sure, I was uncomfortable - but the worst part was - when the person on her left finally got up, and she moved one seat over. This whoosh of fresh cool air wafted all down my left side, and I was left chilled with the air and the evaporating sweat off her body that got all over me as she was pressed right up against me. Yes - let me speak for us all when I say - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. That was one of the grossest moments of my life. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

So what do we do? Should fat people:

a) Not sit down on the middle seat of anything, out of courtesy (and safety) for the people on either side?
b) Have the right to sit anywhere, same as anybody else, forcing neighbours to either get away so they can breathe, or be squashed?
c) Sit only on end seats, to minimize squashage?
d) Follow first-come-first-serve protocol - only sit when there are at least 2 seats side-by-side available. That way, if someone chooses to sit next to them, it's their own choice and they shouldn't complain. Otherwise, you force an already sitting person to vacate a seat, or be uncomfortable. Of course, they generally take up 1.5 seats anyway, so no one else will have a chance to sit there.
e) Be given priority seating, because they are so fat, and thus need to sit more than non-fat people.

Hmmm...

I know, I know...I'm really mean...but honestly...the sweat is still drying...

Ottawa pics

As promised, here's a link to my online Ottawa album. Somehow, I managed to take the equivalent of 5 rolls of film on a 4-day trip there...even after editing, I have a crazy # of pics. Who would've thought Ottawa would be so photogenic?! Well, actually, I'll let you decide after you've seen the pics...



(Sorry, you have to register with Sony Imagestation to see the pics.)

Woe....Woe....Woe is sad today

Unbelievable. How does something like this happen?! Surely 6'6" players should be illegal in tennis. I can't believe I won't be seeing Andy again until Australian Open!!!! CRAZY..... :(

4-6, 4-6, 6-3, 6-2, 4-6. My boy totally choked on the last game when all he needed to do was hold serve to stay in the match - and the tournament! DOUBLE FAULTED to get to 0-40 and then saved 2 break points before J. Johanssen finished him off. Oh, Andy..... :(

I hope J. Johanssen's gf's brother (Lleyton Hewitt - how weird is that!) creams him in the semis!!!!! DOWN WITH J. JOHANSSEN!!!

I'm woe today....

Back from Ottawa!

Hey, I'm back from Ottawa!! Had a great trip, saw lots of things. Bullet-point style:

-walked - A LOT - D lives really close to EVERYTHING
-Byward Market - great pastries, fresh fruit, cool knick-knacks
-Museum of Nature - not even close to comparison to the ROM - pretty much a kid's museum with fake stuffed animals. Some interesting parts but definitely not worth paying for. FREE before noon on Saturdays!
-Parliament Hill - did the FREE tour - brushed up on our Canadian history - went up the Peace Tower (thanks to some really nice guards who let us go up after closing time) - saw great views of the city
-Fat Tuesdays - cool catfish encrusted in sweet potatoe - yummmmm - watched Canada cream Russia 3-1
-Gatineau Park - awesome awesome awesome - really huge place, must drive there, NOT bikeable or walkable with hilly terrain and just massive size. Saw Pink Lake, which was turquoise, and the William Lyon MacKenzie King estate, which was pathetic for a prime minister's residence, and awesome views of the Canadian Shield. Also saw Meech Lake - no idea where they signed the accord, but it was really beautiful. Missed the sunset, AGAIN - and word of warning to Ontario water swimmers, BEWARE SWIMMERS' ITCH!!!
-Saw cheesy Sound and Light show at Parliament Hill on Sat night. IN FRENCH. I tried to translate for the Iron Chef....but it was too boring...
-National Art Gallery - cool paintings by the Group of Seven (new appreciation for Canadian art) and some good European ones too, including Pissaro, Degas, Monet, Renoir. FREE (until October).
-FREE street parking on weekends and holidays. They kill on regular weekday rates though.
-FREE admittance to Rideau Hall - where Adrienne Clarkson lives - beautiful estate, too bad we had no time to view it! (Sorry from the latecomers...)

So - Ottawa is a BARGAIN to visit - including Gatineau Park - everyone should go! Had great weather, beautiful city. Great people. I was so proud to be a Canadian!!!

Pictures to come....

Thanks D for letting us use your place!

(PS - In truly Canadian fashion - they closed the 401 part of the way westbound, so it took us 7 hours to get home, including stopping for food, and waiting 15 minutes for non-existent KFC chicken. I almost ditched Min & Iron Chef by the roadside as they walked along the 401 and the cars all started moving...hee hee...)