Why I don't want children

Yesterday I was sitting on the subway coming home, listening to my MD player and playing Dope Wars on my palm pilot. (The best mindless game to pass the 30 minutes on the TTC.) Next to me were 2 girls, who I think were about 15/16 years old, but I couldn't stare at them so not really sure. I'm pretty sure they were not out of high school though.

Every so often I could hear snippets of their conversation but I really wasn't paying attention, until near the end of my journey, things started catching my ear. I still couldn't hear everything, even though I eventually turned off my MD just to hear better. One girl had this ghetto/bronx accent, and the other sounded similar. The ghetto girl was clearly the more experienced/wise and was giving advice to the innocent girl.

Here are some extracts:

Sample 1
Ghetto - What do you care? He's still yours, she can't have him.
Innocent - I know, but still, it bothers me...
Ghetto - I don't care what he does, he can do it in front of me, but he belongs to me and not her and at the end of the day I've got him and she doesn't.

[Ed's note - that's actually kind of good advice, in a twisted way...]

Sample 2

Innocent - Well, there was this one time where things definitely, definitely went too far...it was at this party...but you know what, even when he was doing [couldn't hear], it didn't feel, like, good, or anything.
Ghetto - Really? You didn't feel anything?
Innocent - Well, I wasn't really enjoying it...
Both - giggle giggle

Sample 3
Ghetto - but you know what, the most important thing is that anyone you do it with really cares about you. All the guys I've done it with I've really... [indistinguishable]....

[Ed's note - !!!!!!!! How many? She's only like 17!!!!!!]

Sample 4
Innocent - So have you ever, like, done it with someone you've just met?
Ghetto - what do you mean - like on a first date?!
Innocent - Yeah.
Ghetto - No way! Except for this one time....
[indistinguishable]
Innocent - You did it with a stranger?!
Ghetto - No, he was my date!

[Ed's note - !!!!!!!]

Sample 5
Innocent - So when was the first time you did it?
Ghetto - I was 14.
[indistinguishable]

[Ed's note - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

I cannot risk having children and have them run around and do the stuff the girls were talking about doing. I think at one point they were laughing about the drugs they were doing too, and how high they got, or some such garbage. How does this happen?! Where are their parents? My worst fear is that their parents are perfectly good parents, like ours maybe, and their kids still turn out like this because that is what the world today is. I don't understand. But I'm scared.

Oh yeah - and why the hell would you be talking about your sex life in front of everybody so they could hear?!

There's no "I" in TEAM...but there IS in B****

Funny, coming off the heels of my last blog...but as one wise old man said, "remember what you said in your last blog, don't hang onto resentment, fix the problem and move on..."

I deserve some respect. And courtesy. Not just me. Every human being. And living thing. Well, maybe not Osama Bin Laden. Actually, maybe even him. Because if we don't treat other people the way we all ought to be treated, don't we just become as bad as the bad people? Or something like that. Can't think coherently right now. Very angry. But must remember this theory about not sinking to their level.

So my co-worker today announced to the company that she screwed up an important placement I had on the go. Well, not in those words. But all I know is yesterday, my candidate had an offer, and today, they're starting the search all over again. Why, you ask? Well, I have no friggin clue. Because SHE DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT IT. And I have NO idea what she told my candidate. Because she didn't make notes in the file.

1) Please COMMUNICATE with me. It's my candidate, and my relationship to manage. Don't string her along for WEEKS, trying to stick your OWN person in there, and then when your deal falls through, muck it up for my person too. AND THEN NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT, until I hear about it from the company-wide email. Don't I deserve at least a phone call to tell me I got screwed? And my candidate was screwed? And shouldn't someone call her?
2) I am your coworker, not your enemy. Not even your competitor. Wouldn't it all be better if we worked in a team to try and get this deal sealed? If the client had made the offer a week ago even, we'd be finished.

Lessons Learned:
1) This is not the last time this will happen. I know this already. So I better learn to deal.
2) People are selfish and inconsiderate. I should know this too. And life is unfair. So I gotta learn to deal.
3) I better keep on top of people. No one will help me if I don't help myself. If I need to know something, I better ask.
4) People are afraid to confront difficult situations. They will avoid, rather than deal in person. Like sending emails instead of calling. I should not be the same. I should deal with this bad situation now and try and get my coworker to cooperate. Whether she will or not, is beyond my control.
5) I should not treat my coworker with the same disrespect I got.
6) The key thing is to try and salvage my relationship with my candidate.

Let's see how many of these lessons I can remember...

GRRRRR!