Weekend roadtrips in Canada

So, in a fit of filial devotion and wish to bond with the parental units, I proposed a weekend getaway to that paragon of natural beauty (and natural scary bears), Algonquin Park. (This may also have been twigged by guilt in recent years that all my trips, every single one, have been without the parents. Except for when I went back to the Homeland to visit the parents, in which case it was really just a selfish use of their tiny, borrowed apartment space so that I could spend horrendous amounts of money on clothes which I don't wear. But I digress.)

Here is a comparison of the planning of recent road trips - one with friends, one with parents:

Friends Road Trip to Ottawa

Woe - Let's go to Ottawa!!
Friends - OK - when?
[Fight over which day and time to leave]
[Fight over how to get there]
[Fight over where we're staying, for how long, and when we're leaving]

Finally, we're ready to go.

Leave about 1/2 hour later than we planned. [Hey, only 1/2 hour late...that's pretty good.] Add about 1/2 hour for unexpected side trip to drop off friend's keys for little bro to use empty pad over weekend. Add about 1/2 hour for traffic due to unexpected drop off.

W - So - do you know how to get to Ottawa?
F - Not really. Do you have the directions?
W - Sort of. Don't we just drive eastbound on the 401?

Drive drive drive...

[Somewhere around Belleville]

W - So....it's like 12:30. Are you ok to keep going? Cuz I say we stop in Kingston before we eat. Then it's more than halfway to Ottawa.
F - Sounds good.
W - Except - I'm hungry now.
F - Me too. What do you have to eat?
W - Well - there's the oatmeal bars I brought.
F - Great. [Takes a bite] Mmmm....these are amazing!
W - Really? I've never had them before.
F - Mmmmm....they taste awesome!!
W - Really? Gimme some!
[Fight over oatmeal bars]
W & F - Mmmmmmmm.....

[Somewhere nearing Kingston - both starving]

F - I remember there's an exit near Kingston that has a ton of restaurants.
W - I don't want restaurants - we're just doing fast food, remember?
F - Yeah, but it's all the Wendys and Tim Hortons and stuff. There's a whole pack of them together.
W - OK, but we don't want to drive into the city.
F - No no no, it's just off the highway. Last time we drove out to Montreal, we stopped there to eat. I totally remember.
W - OK, sounds good. Let's go there.
F - Right.

[Scanning exit signs for Kingston]

W - Dude...there are 8 exits for Kingston. I don't see a sign for the service station you're talking about.
F - It's not a service station. It's an actual exit, but you don't have to go into the city.
W - OK - well, do you remember which one it was?
F - No. That was like, 5 years ago.

[Silence]

F - I'm pretty sure it's not this one. Or this one either.
W - Well, this is the last exit for Kingston. I think we should take this, otherwise we won't get off until Brockville, and that's an hour away.
F - Well...I don't remember this being it. But yeah, let's take it.

[15 minutes of aimless driving later]

F - Yeah, that wasn't it. I'm pretty sure it was further east.
W - But further east is nothing! There was no sign for another exit, I think it's just Brockville.
F - OK, maybe you're right. I still think it's east though.
W - Well, let's just go back west. It must have been the exit before this.
F - OK.

[20 minutes of back-tracking later, the idiots resume their eastbound journey]

F - I really think we should just keep going east. I'm pretty sure it's the next exit.
W - Fine, whatever. At worst we'll just double-back again and take one of the other exits and go to Queen's or something.
F - Fine.

[5 minutes later]

F - Yeah, this is it!! See, it's like an oasis of fast food restaurants.
W - Wow....it really is. Remember this exit - it's exit 572.
F - Yeah, I'll never forget that exit again!!!

[Note - on the way back, we tried to find the same exit. And Friend had forgotten what it was. But I hadn't.]
[Note note - Do not use the above exit # as a reference. I totally forget what # it was.]

VERSUS

Trip with Parents to Algonquin [and we haven't even left yet!!]

W - So - why don't we go on a weekend trip together?
[pause in shock]
P - really - where?
W - Well, I was thinking it would be nice to go to Algonquin for the long weekend.
P - It will be cold.
W - Yes, but didn't you and Auntie take a trip there 4 years ago in the fall? And we can just stay in one of those nice warm little huts.
P - Yeah, that was an adventure. Every hour your dad had to get up and put more logs on the fire.
W - The FIRE?
P - Yes - that's what kept the lodge warm!!!!
W - Uh - ok, on second thought, let's book a hotel.

[At this point I carry on with my daily life, and my parents magically plan the entire trip, while I supervise. My involvement is limited to the few days before we actually have to leave, when the debates begin.]

ORGANIZATIONAL DEBATE # 1 - WHICH WEEKEND
This is much more complicated than merely which weekend we go. "Which" weekend assumes we are not going on the long weekend. Why? Because given that we are not going to be doing very many hikes (mom doesn't hike), then what could we possibly have to do for 3 whole days? Then the 2-day vs. 3-day debate launches hotel booking issues - apparently, even when people go up for a non-long-weekend, they still stay over 2 nights. How do they do it? Don't they have to work?!

So the originally scheduled Oct 9 trip, changed to Oct 2, forcing me to change my dentist appointment 2 times, and TODAY, has changed AGAIN to Sept 25. Why? Because according to the colour change report on the internet, which my parents have followed daily, the colour change % is now about 50-75%, depending on which internet site you consult, and which side of the park you're looking at. So we don't want to miss our chance to see the great fall colours. (Plus, tennis got moved to next weekend. But I'm not bitter. :P ) So now my dentist appointment is on Oct 16 for NOTHING. My teeth could rot in those 2 weeks.

ORGANIZATIONAL DEBATE # 2 - ROUTING

Remember how Friend & I went to Ottawa? We got in the car and drove away, and ate when we were hungry. Here's how it is with my dad:

D - W - come here and help me plan the trip.
W - [feeling guilty for doing nothing while they have been consulting colour change reports every day] OK.....
D - I need you to look at this road map of Ontario, and tell me the distance between Toronto and Fenelon Falls, so I can determine how long it will take to drive there.
W - WHAT? How do I do that? [beginning to think about my grade 9 compass and other mathematical instruments which supposedly did this sort of thing]...

[Ed's note - I should clarify at this point that our road trip obviously makes pit stops, and we've - I mean they've - been trying to plan out the most scenic ones.]

So now I look at what my dad's doing on the computer, and he's got this huge excel spreadsheet, with each exact stop location, anticipated activity, expected travel time between points, and expected layover time for sightseeing, plotted in this chart. Down to the MINUTE. I mean, we're stopping at Whatever River at 12:38 to partake of lunch for 60 minutes. 12:38. [Dad says, "the computer calculates it, not me".] Did I mention my dad is a mathie?

I'm in shock - and in a last ditch effort to save myself from bringing out the geographical measurement instruments, I thankfully remember the Internet Triptik option from CAA. Thank God I became a member!! Those CAA fees have repaid themselves in full!!!

W - Wait Dad, there's a better way!!!

[Speedy calculations on internet triptik later]...

W - Ta-da...the whole trip takes about 5.5 hours!!!
D - How long is it between point B and point C?
W - Uh....it doesn't say. It only does aggregate trip time.

[Recalculate entire trip with 7 stopping points to determine exact travel time between each point. Because you know, you have to figure out where and when you're gonna eat.]

So now my dad has planned out the entire weekend, from practically which restaurant we're going to eat at in which city, to which trail we're going to hike at what time on which day.

Now I understand why my parents used to say that planning a self-trip (as opposed to a cruise or group bus tour of Europe) was such a huge effort and that I didn't appreciate their hard work. But I can't complain - cause my parents ARE my guided bus tour organizers. :)

Yay....love road trips....when I come back, much blogging will continue about fights over speed limits...speed traps...and anything else minute that is not worth fighting over....