Grace and Ungrace

"The world runs by ungrace. Everything depends on what I do."
"Grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us more... And grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us less."

I'm reading a book by Philip Yancey called "What's So Amazing About Grace", from which the quotes above come. I've really been struck by it because of my own growing thoughts about grace, and its presence (or lack thereof) in what I do. It's also given me a much different perspective on some classic bible stories and parables which I never understood until now.

Today I received a stark picture of the world of ungrace that we live in, from my father. We were talking about equity and inclusiveness in the workplace. My comment was that - in the Italian restaurant we were eating in - the most senior person in the kitchen was white. Everyone else was a visible minority.

That launched a lengthy discussion about the odds of success for immigrants to Canada and - more importantly - their rights to success. Working in HR at a progressive company where I hear the words "inclusiveness" and "diversity" as part of our business strategy - I was shocked that both my parents consider it perfectly normal and acceptable that immigrants are unlikely to rise as high as their white counterparts. My father vigorously argued that it's not 0% - he cited examples of immigrants who did get promoted and were high up in their organization. But when I argued that the proportion of visible minorities in high profile positions was significantly less than the total population of "qualified" visible minorities working in the company, he thought I was arguing employment equity - promotion for the undeserving purely for political face value. In his opinion, he would rather go to the doctor with the Canadian university degree, than the immigrant doctor (licensed in Canada of course) educated in some university that he's never heard of in some foreign country. (Unless it's Oxford or something prominent, of course.)

What was most troubling was that not only did he think it was natural, based on our society's values and basic human tendency (I can't argue there, that is how people naturally think) - but that that's how it should be. That it's even right. He was disturbingly accepting of it because this is "reality". And we all need to live in the real world.

The picture of my father's world of ungrace really came home to me when he made the comment that we shouldn't believe anything companies say about putting people first, or treating everyone equally, or even being environmentally friendly. According to my dad, these are all lies and bullsh*t, stated by companies because they have to in order to look like they care. But the truth is, they don't - and we all better learn to read between the lines, or we're chumps.

I sat there in shock, looking at him. And I had to ask - "What hope do you have for the future? What you just described sounds pretty hopeless to me." He had no response.

Now, I think I'm not so naive as to believe that everything companies (or people) say is 100% true. However, I'm also not so much of a pessimist/cynic (yes, not even I!) to believe that what they say is 100% false, either.

Philip Yancey describes in a few different ways, what grace looks like. The father who welcomes home the runaway daughter without a word of blame or chastising. The divorced wife of an adulterous husband who ends up comforting the second wife - the woman her husband left her for - after he cheats on her, too. Yancey also describes ungrace. Grandparents, parents, children who never speak to their loved ones again because they cannot forgive the wrongs against them. Nations at war because neither will ask for peace first. (Yancey is clear that these things are not easy, or even fair, in our human sense of justice. But they do perpetuate the cycle of ungrace.)

Today, I saw clearly my father's world of ungrace - the place he has been living in for I don't know how long. Where immigrants are always second class, because they don't have the education or cultural knowledge to do any better. And where it's OK for it to be so, because they chose to come over here where their medical degree is more useless than a taxi driver's license. A world where everyone lies and cheats, to maximize their own personal gain. And if you believe them, you're not innocent - you're just a fool. A world where if you're lucky, you get what you earn - most times, less than that. And you better work damn hard to get it, because if you don't, you don't deserve it.

My dad lives in a world where everything depends on what he does. With so little grace for himself, no wonder he has little of it for others. Our conversation has made me so much more grateful to have received God's grace in my life. I pray with all my heart that someday, grace and hope finally enter his.